Mission for Guatemala: Emotions

As I prepare to leave for Guatemala tomorrow morning, this has been a day filled with a variety of emotions. I found myself being kind of irritable, cranky, and impatient getting ready for church this morning. And I actually, felt guilty when I sat down in church. I felt that I wasn't being grateful and cherishing this day with my family. I sat down in church and felt the emotions and tears fill me. It took some time, but I eventually felt a release. I let go a little and sang the hymns and held hands with the girls. And for some reason I just felt very teary.

Getting ready for this trip has been a process over several months. And now I can't believe the day has arrived for us to go. I spent some time visiting with Pastor Tyler after service and asked that he and others keep our team in their prayers. Turns out that he may know the man who handles the water filtration distribution in Guatemala! Small world! And I felt that's a little about what this trip means to me...making the world feel a little smaller! Like we really can make a difference.

I also shared with Pastor Tyler that we were in prayer today for a little girl who at that very moment in time was having a new heart sewn into her body. She is one of our Heart Heroes who's been on the transplant list. Pastor Tyler was a frequent visitor when our daughter was very sick, and so he knows how deeply I feel the pain of a mother that has to endure such challenging medical events with their child. My heart goes out to their family and they were also on my mind all day today.

After church, Tim prepared us a nice "Protein Pancake" breakfast, we finished packing, and we were off to the farm to drop off the girls...about 1 1/2 hours west. They'll be hanging out at my mom and step-dad's farm all week! And, God Bless my mom...she's having foot surgery tomorrow morning! So hope everything goes all right. We had a nice dinner and set up my mom's computer so we can skype with each other from Guatemala! Amazing what technology allows us to do now!! We laughed and made silly videos!!

There were a lot of hugs and kisses when we said goodbye. I knew the girls were feeling sad to say goodbye, but they didn't let me see any tears. But I was fighting them off as we drove away. And I was really struggling with the thoughts of "why am I leaving my children, and traveling thousands of miles to Guatemala to spend time with orphans?".....And yet the answer, as Pastor Tyler reminded me this morning, is that God has called me to go. And I believe that. Because I don't really have another explanation.

So, as I said, there's been a whole range of emotions today! And I've had some interesting responses from friends and family today. Some have offered prayers and blessings. Others have said they couldn't understand why I was doing this. And one asked me to bring a tshirt back. And it kind of reminded me of my former corporate days when I traveled and people often thought it was glamorous and cool. Yet they didn't understand that I was going away for "work" not a vacation. And on this trip, I chose to see it as going away to do "God's Work", along with some very wonderful, positive people. And that is cool! I'm leaving behind the high-heels, jewelry, and bling. And putting on some khakis and "Jesus sandals"! And away we go!!!